Episode 384: The Power of Saying No Confidently - Set Healthy Boundaries, Reclaim Your Freedom

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FULL TRANSCRIPT

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There was a time when I felt completely overwhelmed because I kept saying yes to things I didn't want to do. I felt the busier I was, the better. I feared disappointing others. But every time I ignored my needs, I felt drained and resentful. It wasn't until I learned the power of saying no that I truly reclaimed my energy and peace.  Hello, beautiful souls, and welcome back to episode 384 of The Everyday Life Balance Show. I'm Pascale Gibon, your guide on this journey of empowerment, inner peace, and joyful living. Today, we're diving deep into something close to my heart and essential for personal freedom - the transformative power of saying 'no' and setting those precious healthy boundaries that protect your energy.

It matters to set boundaries at work, in our relationships with others, and with ourselves because it’s a powerful way to protect our valuable time, command respect, develop self-discipline, and cultivate self-care.  

Have you found yourself in situations you did not want to be in because you felt uncomfortable saying no and did not want to hurt the other person's feelings? I understand; however, there are times when learning to say no takes courage and becomes necessary. 

Why Saying No Is Essential for Personal Freedom

How often have you said yes to things when you wanted to say no? You know that feeling when your heart sinks because you've said 'yes' to something your soul is screaming 'no' to. But imagine the relief, the empowerment that comes with finally saying 'no' when you need to. It's a liberating act that puts you back in control of your time and energy.

Let me share something personal with you. A dear friend recently confided in me about feeling exhausted from endless social commitments. She said: "I keep saying yes to all these social events even though I don't want to go." She was trying to say that she did not know why she said yes to every single invite and how to say no to some of them. It might be because she felt guilty if she declined the invitation or feared missing out if she did not go. She had not set boundaries on her most valuable asset: time.

How often do you find yourself overcommitted, drained, and resentful because you put others' needs before yours?

Here's the beautiful truth I discovered - saying no isn't just about declining invitations. It's a profound act of self-love and an invitation to reclaim your power. It requires some practice, especially for the 'people pleasers' who feel guilty whenever they say no. I know exactly how you feel.

However, constantly saying yes to demands on our time when we mean no can lead to burnout, resentment, and a loss of identity.

And here's why learning to say no is empowering:

Think about it this way: every time you say yes to something that doesn't align with your heart, you say no to your dreams, peace, and well-being. Isn't it time we changed that narrative?

Here's what I want you to remember, beautiful soul:

·      Your time is sacred

·      Your energy is precious

·      Your boundaries are an expression of self-respect

Recognizing When You Need to Say No

The first step to setting boundaries is self-awareness. It's crucial to pay attention to the moments when you say yes out of obligation, guilt, or fear of disappointing others. This self-awareness is enlightening and empowering, as it allows you to recognize when you need to say no for your own well-being.

Before answering, ask yourself:

• Am I saying yes because I genuinely want to?
• Will this commitment drain my energy or compromise my well-being?
• Does this align with my values and priorities?

If your gut is telling you to say no, honour that feeling. Your intuition knows when something is not right for you.

Here are some examples: You might need to say no when

• You feel exhausted from overcommitting to social events.
• A colleague frequently asks you to do extra work that isn't your responsibility.
• A family member expects you to always be available without considering your needs.

Releasing Guilt and Fear Around Saying No

Many feel guilty when saying no, especially to family, friends, or work obligations. We fear disappointing others, being seen as unkind, or missing out on opportunities.

But saying no does not mean rejecting the person; it means honouring yourself. You can still be kind, loving, and supportive while maintaining boundaries.

Here is a powerful mantra for letting go of guilt: "I do the best I can with my resources and honour my needs without guilt. Setting boundaries is an act of self-care." This mantra is a source of reassurance and support, reminding you that it's okay to say no when you need to.

How to Say No with Grace and Confidence

Now that we've explored why saying no is essential and how to release guilt around it let me now share some heart-centred ways to say no while keeping your relationships strong and your spirit light:

1.   When you need to be direct but gentle

"I appreciate the opportunity but I can't commit right now."

"Thank you for thinking of me, but I must decline."

"I would love to, but I can't commit now."

"That sounds wonderful, but I need to prioritize other commitments."

"I honour your invitation, but my heart is calling me to focus elsewhere right now."

2. When you need to maintain a connection

"I won't be able to take this on anymore, but I appreciate you asking."

"I'm setting new priorities, so I must step back from this commitment."

3.   When you need space to decide

"Let me check my schedule and get back to you."

"I need some time to think about this—can I get back to you later?" (please make sure you get back to the person)

Strengthening Your Boundaries Over Time

Like any new skill, setting healthy boundaries takes practice. The more you say no in alignment with your values, the more empowered and confident you will feel.

Here are four tips for maintaining firm boundaries:

1.   Be consistent – The more you uphold your boundaries, the more others will respect them.

2.   Stay firm yet kind – You don't need to over-explain or justify your no.

3.   Clarify your non-negotiables, which are the things you are unwilling to compromise.

4.   Practise self-reflection – Regularly check in with yourself to ensure you're honouring your needs.

Embracing Your Right to Say No

Saying no is an act of courage. It declares that your needs, time, and energy are valuable.

Remember, beautiful soul, setting boundaries isn't about building walls - it's about creating sacred space for what truly matters in your life.

So, I encourage you to reflect:

• Where do you need to set a boundary in your life?
• What is one thing you will say no to this week that is not one of your priorities?

I invite you to join me in this week's challenge:

Choose one situation where your heart yearns to say no. It could be declining an invitation, saying no to extra work, or simply taking time for yourself guilt-free. Then, notice how it feels in your body when you stand in your power.

Share your experience with me—I'd love to hear about your journey.

Thank you for spending this time with me today. If this episode resonated with you, feel free to connect with me on social media or email me at support@pascalegibon.com

Until next time, I'm sending you lots of love and light on your journey to freedom and balance.