Building Self-Love For Perfectionists Series - Part 4
How to love yourself more when perfectionism gets in the way
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FULL TRANSCRIPT
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Hi, I’m Pascale Gibon. Welcome to episode 240 of the Everyday Life Balance Show. Thank you for tuning in.
This is part 4 of our 7-part series Building Self-Love For Perfectionists.
Did you enjoy episode 239, our interview with Wendy Firmin Price for Part 3 of the series? Her message is very emotional and in short, the message is, if you are a perfectionist, to free yourself from the perfection trap so that you can start loving yourself more.
The fourth obstacle to loving yourself is low self-esteem or self-worth.
My preferred definition of self-esteem is the following. It comes from Nathaniel Branden, the father of the concept of self-esteem.
He says:
“Self-esteem fully realized, is the experience that we are appropriate to life and the requirements of life.
More specifically, self-esteem is:
- Confidence in our ability to think, confidence in our ability to cope with the basic challenges of life, and
- Confidence in our right to be successful and happy, the feeling of being worthy, deserving, entitled to assert our needs and wants, achieve our values, and enjoy the fruits of our efforts.”
Low self-esteem, therefore, means that you doubt your personal worth, your appropriateness to life and whether you can meet life’s requirements. More specifically you question your position in the world.
When you trust and listen to your critical voice, you have a rather soul-destroying belief about yourself such as:
- You have no right to exist
- You are of no value
- No one appreciates you
- You have no right to value your needs and wants
- You are not loveable.
- You do not trust yourself
- You do not trust others
Many events in one’s life may lead to these critical and soul-destroying beliefs.
And where there is low self-esteem, it is challenging for self-love to exist.
It takes time to undo this mental baggage of thoughts, beliefs, emotions, actions and put-downs that stop you from letting your inner diamond shine.
Scientific research shows that it takes 66 days to change one’s neuropathways. Plus, you need a change in perspective, new and small daily habits and doses of love to increase your self-love:
- What about making the conscious decision to be increasingly aware of your inner dialogue by creating a connection where you praise yourself more instead of putting yourself down.
- Or what about starting to honour your brilliance the more you get to know yourself.
To grow in self-love, you have a conscious decision to make. It is to become a better observer of your behaviour patterns, and through this process, you can start to honour your true self.
Have you taken the time to ask yourself this question: “who am I?”
Marianne Williamson says it best in her book “A Return to Love”: “Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness, that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small doesn’t serve the world.”
As always, remember now is your time to transform your life one step at a time.
Who are you not to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous?
I hope you enjoyed today’s episode. I look forward to connecting with you next Monday.
Have a fantastic week, take good care and lots of love.
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ABOUT PASCALE
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Pascale Gibon is the #1 Bestselling author of YES! TO Love – The Ultimate Guide to Personal Transformation for Everyday Life Balance and The Essential Guide To Success Checklist - The 30 Day Challenge to Build Your Path to Success and Fulfil Your Life's Purpose.
Pascale is also the founder of YES! TO Love Academy (her live events) and YES! TO Training (or Y.T.T. YES! to True Transformation) your portal for personal transformation which helps you stand back up so that you can regain your zest for life, make your life work for you and quantum leap every aspect of your life from the inside out. The results are more joy, real happiness and success as you increase your self-expression, self-love, self-confidence, and you feel empowered.
Known as a 'Change Catalyst' for your growth, transformation, and success Pascale is highly intuitive. She has the particular talent of helping you walk 100% in your greatness with confidence and harness your unique divine gifts and abilities so that you can live your life to your fullest potential and be the best that you can be with the energy of love.
As a visionary and creative, her life's purpose is to inspire and empower you and guide you to happiness through love and joy in the context of understanding and compassion.
Meet Pascale at pascalegibon.com.
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ABOUT THE EVERYDAY LIFE BALANCE SHOW
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The Everyday Life Balance Show is a weekly self-help show for individuals who want to create more balance and harmony in their life on a mental, physical and spiritual level. Every Monday, you get access to insights, practical tools and strategies from experts in their field of wellness, personal development, life fulfilment, happiness and success and from your host Pascale Gibon. "Now is your time to transform your life one step at a time!"
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