how to love yourself more when you are a perfectionist at heart
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FULL TRANSCRIPT
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Hi, I’m Pascale Gibon. Welcome to episode 238 of the Everyday Life Balance show. You are listening to Part 2 of the “Building Self-love For Perfectionists Series, thank you for tuning in.
How did you get on with the steps I shared in Part 1 to build a positive self-image and identity.
Let me remind you what the five steps are so that you keep taking action:
Step #1: Focus on what is right and great about you and stop looking for imperfections.
Step #2: Begin to appreciate yourself more by asking yourself this transformative question and keep the good enough concept in mind:
We all have qualities, and if you struggle with this, you can ask a family member, friend or colleague for help.
Here is step #3: Instead of putting yourself down, start to experience and acknowledge your victories and successes. This will boost your confidence and give you a sense of satisfaction and well-being.
Step #4 is the following: Practise the habit of praising yourself more and rewarding yourself each time you experience a victory. You are great! And like Les Brown says: “There is greatness within you.”
And lastly, step #5: Whenever someone praises you, practise the habit of receiving their praise with joy and an open heart.
In this series, you will discover what the obstacles to self-love are and how to overcome them. Therefore, here is the second obstacle to self-love for perfectionists.
The second obstacle to self-love for perfectionists is the reluctance to understand themselves at a deeper level to grow in awareness of who they are.
Perfectionists tend to self-sabotage; they are unwilling to feel and share their feelings when something is not quite right. Because they expect perfection in everything, themselves and others, they sweep their true feelings under the rug and pretend that all is well when they are in pain.
Perfectionists suffer emotionally in silence because they refuse to show any vulnerability. This agonising state is, therefore, the opposite of self-love or self-nurture.
Just imagine; you pretend that everything is well on the outside when you are suffering on the inside and put your sunglasses on because feeling your negative emotions or discomfort would mean that you are not perfect and there is something wrong with you.
This topic is very dear to me, and I am passionate about it. I had a significant breakthrough when I chose vulnerability over perfection. When I got over the fear of being vulnerable, I could open up my heart more.
Vulnerability does not mean that you are weak. It means that you choose to be honest with yourself.
Showing vulnerability and being honest with myself meant that I acknowledged my feelings for what they were to build self-love and heal the tendencies that made me a perfectionist.
When you acknowledge your feelings and discomfort, you grow in self-awareness. And as a result, you get better at loving your authentic self. I am sure you can relate. What seemed uncomfortable, at first, became comfortable because I was willing to look at it and even share it. Remember that emotions are just energy in motion.
We all have wounds that need healing, and you do not have to suffer in silence. The first commitment for inner healing is, to be honest with yourself and solve the problems that perfectionism and lack of self-love can cause. Self-love does require honesty first.
If you want to build self-love, you need to open your heart to honesty. It is difficult to heal a wound if you do not sense that it needs healing in the first place. You could live your life blindly for years. However, if you are tuning in to this episode, it means you are ready to open up your heart honestly.
I get you, and I am 100% for your happiness.
Here is my solution to the second obstacle to self-love: Speak your truth; to be authentic to yourself and others, you must show vulnerability and not hold it back.
Take some time now to self-reflect and answer these two powerful questions:
Question #1: What does showing vulnerability mean to you?
Question #2: How would overcoming the fear of vulnerability set you free?
You cannot experience the miracles of inner transformation for inner peace, joy, love and happiness if you do not recognise the signs of your self-sabotage and do something to solve it.
The best thing you can do to build self-love is to be true to yourself.
I hope you enjoyed today’s episode. As always, remember now is your time to transform your life one step at a time.
I want to end this episode with this transformative quote from the author Brene Brown:
“Owning our story can be hard but not nearly as difficult as spending our lives running from it. Embracing our vulnerabilities is risky but not nearly as dangerous as giving up on love and belonging and joy—the experiences that make us the most vulnerable. Only when we are brave enough to explore the darkness will we discover the infinite power of our light.”
Stay tuned for our episode next week and my special guest. I cannot wait to have her on the show.
Have a fantastic week, take good care and lots of love.
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ABOUT PASCALE
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Pascale Gibon is the #1 Bestselling author of YES! TO Love – The Ultimate Guide to Personal Transformation for Everyday Life Balance and The Essential Guide To Success Checklist - The 30 Day Challenge to Build Your Path to Success and Fulfil Your Life's Purpose.
Pascale is also the founder of YES! TO Love Academy (her live events) and YES! TO Training (or Y.T.T. YES! to True Transformation) your portal for personal transformation which helps you stand back up so that you can regain your zest for life, make your life work for you and quantum leap every aspect of your life from the inside out. The results are more joy, real happiness and success as you increase your self-expression, self-love, self-confidence, and you feel empowered.
Known as a 'Change Catalyst' for your growth, transformation, and success Pascale is highly intuitive. She has the particular talent of helping you walk 100% in your greatness with confidence and harness your unique divine gifts and abilities so that you can live your life to your fullest potential and be the best that you can be with the energy of love.
As a visionary and creative, her life's purpose is to inspire and empower you and guide you to happiness through love and joy in the context of understanding and compassion.
Meet Pascale at pascalegibon.com.
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ABOUT THE EVERYDAY LIFE BALANCE SHOW
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The Everyday Life Balance Show is a weekly self-help show for individuals who want to create more balance and harmony in their life on a mental, physical and spiritual level. Every Monday, you get access to insights, practical tools and strategies from experts in their field of wellness, personal development, life fulfilment, happiness and success and from your host Pascale Gibon. "Now is your time to transform your life one step at a time!"
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